As soon as she goes into labour
it all becomes a dream.
I drive to the veterinarian's
instead of the hospital
because I instinctively sense
what is about to happen.
And I am right!

She gives birth to three terrier pups
who are up and about
before you can say Jack Russell!
Fortunately the afterbirth
includes several litres of puppy chow.

The vet doesn't like any of it one bit.
He thinks we should call the authorities,
or perhaps The National Enquirer.
I kill him with the Heimlich manoeuvre
performed over and over again
until he is asphyxiated.

We take our charges home
on the best of his leashes.
Never having been proud parents before
we have much to learn
about the care and feeding of dogs.