The Licking Valley Coon Hunters Club

by Brian A. Hopkins 
Yard Dog Press $15.00
 

Private eye Martin Zolotow has a problem. No, not his dysfunctional memory. And no, not his habit of helping young women off the street and falling in love with them before sending them back to their parents' homes.

No, today Zolo's problem is that he's being kidnapped from LAX by some freak at needle-point and flown to Oklahoma, where his problem is about to get a whole lot worse fast.

Sometimes you know right from the start that a novel is going to grab your gut and unravel it faster than a 1940's cowboy his lasso. This is one of those lean, mean roller-coaster novels that could easily transfer to a Tarantino, Woo, or Rodriguez film - the nail-biter action flick kind, where you leave the theater drenched because you were never allowed to catch your breath.

For when Zolo reaches Oklahoma, he's faced with thugs from two different sides of some dispute, apparently - and most of them enjoy battering him into the ground over and over as they switch sides faster than a Wimbledon tennis ball. Hired by one thug, sold out and betrayed, then turned into an amusement for the other thug and his goons, Zolo soon stumbles into what connects these gun-toting hicks to cutting-edge DNA research (you read that correctly). That they file their teeth to fangs is just a bonus, as is their bizarre harem of beautiful black women and its purpose. Suffice to say that soon Zolo has to save not only himself, but a whole crew of innocents. Created for the role of savior to beautiful women, Zolo must rise above the ceaseless beatings he's suffered in order to coordinate some sort of resistance. Aided by the able-bodied Kendra and a few of her fellow "residents," Zolo does his best MacGyver, complete with snappy, witty dialogue.  

Brian Hopkins has crafted a first novel reminiscent of the best Brian Hodge and Jay Bonansinga thrillers, except that he's trimmed all the fat until what's left is slick, oiled muscle. Plot certainly counts, but plot's nothing if there are no great characters to hang it on. Hopkins creates strong, interesting characters you instantly like (or dislike) in a few stylish strokes. The racehorse of a plot - a cross between "The Island of Dr. Moreau" and "The Most Dangerous Game" as might be adapted by Tarantino, perhaps - may be linear, but it's the characters who make it work. Just like the occasional psychological glimpses into Zolo, this snapshot of one day and night in his life shows more about him than many authors might have squeezed into a book ten times longer. 

Let's hope Brian Hopkins gets the urge to share more of his insight into Zolo soon, but let's also hope the poor guy gets to have a good day for once! Highly recommended.